God, What Bullshit

A young woman is frustrated because the film she is working on is falling apart under her hands. Against the city background, she feels that everyone and everything is getting in her way. She stops seeing the point of what she is doing and doubts if she has ever been able to create anything. If she‘s unable to do the work that feeds her, she doesn‘t have a relationship or children, and her own family thinks she‘s an alien, then what good is she as a person? Isn‘t she absolutely useless? She escapes into herself from her problems, diving into the depths both mentally and physically. Inside, she‘s on an existential diet. A little break from being, so that she can perceive again and move on.

Director’s statement
As soon as I was lost in the process of making this film and didn‘t know how to change it, improve it, or solve it, I went into absolute creative anxiety. Not believing in my own abilities took them away from me. However, it was precious how people become warm and open once someone shares their experience of the difficulty of creating and the discomfort that accompanies it.
This film finds the main character, who is my alter ego, in a state of utmost frustration. We, as the audience, get to experience this tragicomic despair with her. The lack of confidence in her own abilities is mixed with a sense of misunderstanding or disinterest from those around her.
The non-linear narrative uses surreal imagery and humour to capture emotions such as worthlessness, being lost and loneliness. It is also a ritual and a catharsis. Both for the main character and for me. This film could be bullshit.
I can be bullshit. And that‘s okay.